Let’s get brutally honest for a moment.
You wake up. Stare at the ceiling. And before your feet even touch the floor, the weight of the day is already crushing you.
The world demands you to “fix” yourself. There’s a podcast telling you to journal your way to peace. A YouTube ad pushing a $300 productivity planner. Social media feeds stuffed with strangers who have it “all together,” selling a version of themselves that looks nothing like real life.
But what if… what if the problem isn’t you?
Imagine being on a treadmill that never stops. No matter how fast you run, the goalpost keeps moving. You’re exhausted, but you’re scared to stop. Because if you do, what does that say about you? That you’re weak? Broken?
I met a man last year while consulting for a startup in Singapore. A high-level exec, burnt to a crisp, clinging to his morning rituals and “biohacks” like a drowning man to a life vest. He wasn’t thriving—he was barely surviving. And behind his thousand-dollar watch and fake smile, you could see the desperation in his eyes. He thought if he just “optimized” enough, he could escape the crushing weight of his anxiety.
Sound familiar?
You’re not alone. You’re not a machine. You’re human. And the truth is, you don’t need fixing.
You need something real.
Something no one’s telling you.
The Fix-Yourself Trap
Here’s the twisted truth: the world profits from you feeling broken.
There’s an entire economy built around your insecurities. Think about it—the $4 trillion wellness industry, the self-help empires, the endless courses promising to “fix” your mindset, your productivity, your body, your relationships. They’re feeding on your belief that you’re not enough.
But here’s the kicker: You were never meant to be fixed.
I’ll tell you about Mariam. She’s a midwife in Lagos, Nigeria. Spends her nights delivering babies, her days juggling a side hustle to make ends meet, and every second in between feeling like she’s failing. She came to me after burning through thousands on therapy apps and mindfulness courses, convinced she was broken because she couldn’t “stay calm” or “manifest her best life.”
What no one told her? She wasn’t broken. She was exhausted. Her soul was screaming for space, not another podcast.
When we sat down, I told her:
“Mariam, you’re not a machine that needs software updates. You’re a human being. A mother. A woman living in a world that’s set up to drain you. You don’t need another fix. You need to stop fighting yourself and start listening to what you really need.”
Her tears weren’t from sadness. They were from relief.
And maybe, just maybe, you need that same permission.
The Real Cost of Machine Mentality
Let’s not sugarcoat it. Seeing yourself as a machine—or treating yourself like one—doesn’t just drain your mental batteries. It breaks your spirit.
I’ve seen it play out globally. Look at Hiroshi, a 42-year-old salaryman in Tokyo. He worked 14-hour days, fueled by vending machine coffees and guilt. When his wife left him, he blamed himself for not being “strong enough,” not “resilient.” He thought it was his duty to push through the pain. He believed he had to optimize himself to keep up with the machine called society.
But machines don’t feel.
Machines don’t need rest.
You do.
Hiroshi ended up in a hospital with a heart condition. Not because he was weak—but because he was human in a system that punishes humanity.
Now, think about the single mom in São Paulo, trying to balance two jobs, raise her kids, and keep it all together. She’s not “failing” because she needs sleep or cries in the shower. She’s surviving. The real cost here? It’s not a lack of hustle—it’s the erosion of our humanity.
When you buy into the “fix yourself” mentality, you’re signing up for a lifetime of chasing a finish line that keeps moving.
You’re sacrificing your joy, your health, your relationships—just to fit a mold that was never designed for humans to begin with.
The lie isn’t just exhausting.
It’s deadly.
Embrace Your Human: Here’s What Actually Works
The moment you stop trying to “fix” yourself and start embracing your messy, beautiful, imperfect humanity, everything shifts.
Here’s what works—not just in theory, but in the trenches of real life:
1️⃣ Listen Before You Hustle
Remember Aisha, a young nurse in Johannesburg? She thought self-care meant squeezing in yoga at 5 a.m. before a double shift. But her body was screaming for rest, not routines. When she finally allowed herself to sleep in and say “no” to extra shifts, her migraines disappeared.
Lesson? Rest isn’t laziness. It’s survival. Listen to what your body, mind, and spirit are asking for—then respond like your life depends on it. Because it does.
2️⃣ Redefine Strength
You’ve been sold a lie that strength means pushing through. But real strength is knowing when to step back, cry, scream, ask for help, or just be still. It’s saying, “I’m not okay right now, and that’s okay.” Hiroshi, after his hospital scare, learned to say no to late-night emails and yes to his daughter’s bedtime stories. Strength is human, not heroic.
3️⃣ Create Micro-Sanctuaries
You don’t need a week-long retreat in Bali to reconnect with yourself. Find small moments of sanctuary—a cup of tea sipped in silence, a walk without your phone, five minutes of deep breathing. Micro-sanctuaries aren’t luxury. They’re lifelines.
4️⃣ Connect Over Perform
Ditch the polished Instagram self. Reach out to real people with real struggles. Share a laugh, a meal, a story. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s the glue of authentic connection. When Mariam started texting her sister just to say “I’m struggling today,” her world softened.
5️⃣ Rewrite the Script
It’s time to tear up the “fix yourself” script and write a new one:
“I’m human. I have limits. I’m allowed to rest. I’m allowed to feel. I don’t need to be perfect—I just need to be real.”
When you shift your inner dialogue from mechanical optimization to compassionate curiosity, you reclaim your power. Not as a machine—but as a messy, miraculous human being.
Your Next Step
Take a breath.
Seriously—right now, stop reading and take one deep breath.
Feel that? That’s you. Not a machine. Not an algorithm. Not an optimization project. Just a living, breathing, feeling, glorious human.
The next time you feel the pull to “fix” yourself—pause. Remember:
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You’re not broken.
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You don’t need to become “better.”
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You need to become real.
Here’s your next step:
📌 Audit your life with brutal honesty.
Ask yourself: Where am I performing instead of living? Where am I pushing when I need to pause? Where am I pretending I’m okay when I’m not?
📌 Pick one small thing today to honor your humanness.
Say no. Take a nap. Text someone you trust. Let yourself feel everything without shame. Start tiny—but start.
📌 Burn the old manual.
You don’t need another “self-improvement” book right now. You need to unsubscribe from the gospel of grind culture and tune into your inner truth.
📌 Choose connection over perfection.
The world doesn’t need another perfectly curated version of you. It needs you—raw, honest, imperfect. Show up for yourself, and others will follow.
This isn’t about quitting life. It’s about starting life on your terms.
🔥 Let’s make a pact, right here, right now: Stop trying to fix yourself. Start loving yourself as you are. And watch how everything starts to shift—not because you got “better,” but because you got real.
When you’re ready, hit that “close” button, but do it with a silent promise to yourself: I choose me, human and whole.
Have you checked this out yet…? https://serenitymuse.org/how-positive-affirmations-transform-your-self-image/
also checkout my bundle here
