“You dey okay?”
“Yes na. I’m fine.”Lie number one.
You just said that with your mouth but your chest is heavy, your thoughts are scattered, and your eyes haven’t rested in days.
Welcome to the Silent Breakdown.
The place where most Nigerians live, especially the ones who are “doing well.”
You’re providing.
You’re performing.
You’re producing results.
But inside?
You’re barely holding it together.
And nobody knows, because your mask fits like a custom-made agbada.
🧠 Why Are You Breaking Down Silently?
You are a high-functioning struggler.
You’ve mastered the art of:
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Showing up to work with a smile while battling anxiety
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Sending out motivational quotes while your soul is begging for motivation
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Preaching to others while your own spirit is dry
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Cracking jokes on WhatsApp but crying silently in the bathroom
Let’s break this down like street pepper soup, hot, bitter, but healing.
1. Performance Pressure: The Hustle Never Ends
In Nigeria, you either “hustle or you die trying.”
You must be strong. You must keep pushing. You must “not dull.”
You can’t stop. Because if you do:
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The rent won’t pay itself
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Your siblings’ school fees will suffer
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That business won’t run on vibes
So what do you do?
You run on empty. You fuel everyone else’s dream while your own life is leaking strength.
You say, “Na God dey give strength” but you haven’t spoken to God in weeks.
2. Cultural Silence: “Don’t Talk, Endure”
From a young age, we’re taught to endure everything.
Especially men. Especially mothers. Especially pastors. Especially “successful” people.
You talk, they say:
“Do you know how many people wish to be in your shoes?”
“Stop complaining. Just thank God.”
So you keep quiet.
Even when you’re dying slowly.
3. Your Success Became Your Prison
Funny how life works…
The very thing you prayed for, marriage, job, ministry, business, recognition, is now the thing choking your mental health.
You’re not allowed to break down anymore, because:
“People are looking up to you.”
You post fine pictures. You look “booked and busy.”
But at night, you can’t sleep. Your chest is tight. Your mind is loud.
4. Emotional Illiteracy: You Were Never Taught to Feel
You know how to calculate Naira, chase contracts, and negotiate bride price.
But you don’t know how to name your emotions.
You feel sad, you say, “I’m stressed.”
You feel broken, you say, “E no concern me.”
You feel suicidal, you say, “Na devil dey try me.”
This emotional illiteracy is why many Nigerian adults are walking around with 10-year-old wounds in a 35-year-old body.
So, What’s the Solution? How Do You Start Healing?
Let’s get real. This isn’t about motivational jargons.
This is about saving your soul before your hustle kills it.
✅ 1. Name What You’re Feeling (Without Shame)
Say it out loud. Journal it. Write it in your phone. Confess it to God.
“I feel overwhelmed.”
“I feel neglected.”
“I feel like I’m failing as a father/mother/leader.”
“I’m tired of pretending.”
Naming your emotion is the first step to disarming it.
✅ 2. Talk to Someone (The Right Person)
I’m not talking about random friends who will say, “It is well.”
I mean intentional conversations with people who listen to understand,not to judge or spiritualize your pain.
Find:
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A therapist or counselor (even online, even WhatsApp-based ones exist now)
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A mature friend who won’t weaponize your truth
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A spiritual mentor who understands the human side of warfare
✅ 3. Take Off The Cape, You’re Not God
Yes, you’re the helper of your family.
Yes, you carry people’s burden.
Yes, you’re the “pillar.”
But even Jesus rested. Even Moses had Aaron and Hur.
You need to create systems that don’t require you to die before things get done.
Delegate. Say “No.” Sleep. Go offline. Turn down that event. Skip that WhatsApp group guilt trip.
✅ 4. Create Daily Moments of Sanity
You won’t get 2 weeks off. You may not get a vacation. But can you get 20 minutes a day?
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Walk outside
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Listen to a healing playlist
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Read one page of a book that feeds you
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Pray without pressure
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Disconnect from the noise
Even Lagos traffic can become your sanctuary if you’re intentional.
✅ 5. Feed Your Soul, Not Just Your Hustle
There’s a book written specifically for moments like this.
Not a spiritual cliché. Not a therapy sermon.
Just pure, healing words.
📖 “Transform Anxiety Into Serenity: Effective Strategies For Lasting Relief”by Serenity Muse
It’s not for “crazy people.”
It’s for real humans who are tired of acting okay when they’re not.
💔 Before You Break Completely, Read This:
Your productivity is not more important than your peace.
Nobody benefits from your burnout.
Not your kids. Not your boss. Not your church. Not your spouse.
Not even the followers you’re performing for.
Take your soul seriously.
Before your body starts shouting what your mouth refused to say.
LET’S TALK:
Have you ever felt like this?
That feeling of doing everything right, yet feeling everything wrong inside?
Drop a comment or DM.
Let’s strip the masks and start healing for real.
