You begged God for this life.
You knelt at vigils. You sowed seeds. You cried. You fasted.
The marriage. The children. The decent house.
Even the salary that comes like clockwork every month.
But now, you wake up every day and feel… trapped.
Not by poverty.
Not by lack.
But by routine, repetition, and roles you can’t seem to break out of even if they’re breaking you.
The Silent Scream of a “Blessed” Life
Lola, a 36-year-old wife and mother of three in Lagos, once dreamed of being a media mogul.
Today, her life runs on autopilot:
School runs.
Meal preps.
Helping with homework.
Fixing her husband’s shirts.
Church activities.
Sleeping in guilt because she didn’t touch her vision board again.
Her kids are healthy.
Her husband is “responsible.”
Her home is stable.
But she’s not okay.
Every day, a part of her identity leaks out, drip by drip.
No one sees it.
Not even her.
Until one day, she explodes in anger. Or goes completely numb.
“I feel like a stranger in my own story,” she confessed during a coaching session.
What They Never Told You About “Settling Down”
The Nigerian culture glorifies arrival:
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Marriage is seen as the crown.
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Motherhood as your purpose.
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Stability as success.
But what if that “arrival” is where your soul starts to die?
What if everything you once prayed for… has now become your cage?
No, you’re not ungrateful.
You’re awakening.
The Real Cost of Emotional House Arrest
Let’s call it what it is, emotional suffocation behind tiled floors and Instagram smiles.
This isn’t just about boredom.
This is about:
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Unfulfilled dreams that now feel childish.
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Loneliness even in a house full of people.
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Unseen mental fatigue from being everything to everyone and nothing to yourself.
You see, cages don’t always have bars.
Sometimes, they have curtains, throw pillows, a smiling partner, and obedient children.
“Can I Want More Without Being Ungrateful?”
YES.
Wanting more doesn’t mean you hate what you have.
It means there’s something inside you still alive.
But many women (and some men too) are afraid to say it out loud.
Because they fear being judged as unthankful, unserious, or even “rebellious.”
The Shift: From Survival to Self-Reclamation
Here’s what you must understand:
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You’re allowed to evolve.
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You’re allowed to outgrow roles.
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You’re allowed to change your mind about the life you once desired.
You are more than someone’s mum.
You are more than somebody’s wife.
You are more than your chores, cooking, and church group.
You’re still you.
And if “home” no longer feels like home to your soul, it’s time to remodel the experience, not just the décor.
Practical Exit Routes (Without Burning the House Down)
Let’s be realistic. You may not be able to just “up and leave.”
But here’s what you can start doing:
1. Create a Non-Negotiable Personal Hour
One hour every day. No kids. No husband. No distractions.
Use it to read, write, pray, meditate, or just breathe.
2. Resurrect One Abandoned Dream
Not all dreams need money upfront.
Resurrect one. Even if it’s just writing a blog, making videos with your phone, or sketching again.
3. Speak, Even If Your Voice Shakes
Tell your partner. Tell a friend. Or write it in a journal.
Don’t let silence eat you alive.
4. Find or Build Your Tribe
You’re not the only one feeling this way.
Join spaces (online or physical) where others are unlearning and rebuilding themselves.
Don’t Apologize for Waking Up
The fact that you’re feeling this way means you’re still alive.
You’re not lazy. You’re not crazy. You’re not evil.
You’re just remembering who you are.
So go ahead:
Cry if you must.
Breathe.
Then build the life that finally sets your soul free.
You deserve to be at home, not just in your house, but in your heart.
Did you miss this… https://serenitymuse.org/burnout-and-bills-when-you-hate-mondays-but-cant-walk-away/
